Christmas Wouldn't Be Christmas...

...without any crazy swimming in/leaping into the freezing cold Mediterranean. The parents cheated somewhat by wearing wetsuits but inspired by the warm, bright sunshine, I decided to forego even the fingerless gloves of Christmases past and leaped straight on into the sea in my bikini. 

"Vous êtes anglais ou écossais, évidemment," said a French lady walking past with her dog. Clearly only Brits would be mad enough to actually swim in the sea on Christmas Day. Wrapped in towels, afterwards, we sipped from a mini bottle of Champagne and ate some fresh baguette.

Now we're preparing a very nice côte de bœuf for dinner, which will be preceded by some freshly caught oysters and prawns — another advantage of being in France for Christmas is that there is not a single turkey in sight. Or, on this occasion, a mince pie or Christmas pudding — foods of which I am not in the least bit fond.

3D's a Crowd — Avatar Review

I had my first full-length, 3D movie experience this evening. We went to see Avatar in downtown Cannes. As it was raining comme une vache qui pisse, as the French so eloquently put it, the cinema was packed and we picked up our 3D glasses and took a seat. I'm not sure whether we had to pay extra for the glasses but it only cost 21 euros for the three of us and after London prices, this was a veritable bargain.

I wasn't sure I was going to like Avatar, not least because it is well over my two-hour length limit. I was somewhat thrown because as soon as the lights went down, we were immersed into the film — no trailers, no anti-piracy warnings, no BBFC certification (or the French equivalent), no credits (not even for any of the production companies), no nothing. The 3D effect was quite cool, although there was probably a novelty value involved. 

As I was watching a version with French subtitles, the subtitles themselves appeared almost 3D; this probably wasn't intentional and it was also a little distracting. It took a little while to get used to the fact that occasionally, characters would appear to walk "in front of" the screen and you would initially want to tell off a fellow audience member for standing up in the middle of the movie. Parts of the film were visually very stunning though with all sorts of floating jellyfish-like creatures, flying dragon-like creatures and all sorts of other 3D charismatic megafauna, which would regularly slide, soar or leap out towards you.

As for the plot, it was pretty cheese-tastic: paraplegic US marine gets signed onto a project exploring the planet Pandora, which is a resource of the incredibly useful substance unobtanium and which hosts the Na'vi, a species of nine-foot-tall, blue-skinned humanoids with tails and carbon-reinforced bones. 

Except, when he goes on his reccies, he has to climb into a pod that allows him to be connected up to his Na'vi avatar. Jake, the marine, is supposed to get friendly with the Na'vi so that he can find out if they can be persuaded to move from their sacred lands (which is where the unobtanium happens to be found), allowing the humans to put up some huge oil rig like structure. 

But of course Jake falls in love and life gets oh-so-complicated when he has to choose between his new girl and friends, and his own race. Ironically for a 3D film, the characters were all pretty one-dimensional: the disadvantaged goodie, the baddie, the brave heroine, the love rival for the heroine who is mean for most of the film but dies valiantly, and so on.

The film has a lot in common with Titanic, besides the same basic character types: a James Horner soundtrack, the dramatic shots of people falling and meeting their end when hitting a hard object, the meeting of two cultures, two worlds. In fact, when Jake's Na'vi gal is trying to save him by giving him an oxygen mask, I almost thought she was going to say, "there's a mask, Jake" (à la "there's a boat, Jack") and when Jake learns to fly one of the dragon-like creatures, he so nearly said, "I'm the king of the world."

But it did look very good and the story was just about engaging enough (even if the tautness of the plot was sacrificed in favour of creating some really cool-looking shots) to keep me going for the whole 2h40. My nose was killing from the heavy 3D glasses by the end, though, or, as one of the two women from Northern England in the audience put it, "oh nerrr; I've bruised me conk."

Waterloo Sunshine

When I got up at about 8:30, the mercury on my iPhone was indicating minus five degrees. As the iPhone, like its mistress, tends to be a bit of a hypochondriac about the cold, I also checked a few other weather websites and the consensus seemed to be that it was about minus three. Nonetheless, it was beautiful and sunny and I saw no reason not go ahead with my original plan to catch the Tube down to Waterloo and then do a circular route along both banks of the Thames.

The South Bank was busy, even for 9:30 on a freezing cold morning in December. Also, because I haven't done a proper run along the river since I got my iPhone, I kept stopping to take photos, which meant my iPedometer probably wasn't very accurate.

I ran along the South Bank to Tower Bridge before crossing over — Tower Bridge isn't exactly Brooklyn Bridge, but on a bright, winter morning it's a fairly striking sight. I then ran all the way back along the North Bank, past Somerset House, St Stephen's Tower and Westminster Abbey, to Vauxhall Bridge. Finally, I crossed back over and completed the circuit by running up to the Jubilee Bridge.

By that point, it was after 10:30 and the tourist hoards had made a beeline for the London Eye, the Aquarium, the Christmas markets and the other range of excitements on offer on the South Bank. I, meanwhile, could walk smugly back to the Tube station before jumping into a scalding hot shower in an attempt to regain some feeling in my feet. I have definitely earned my bacon sandwich today!

Fifteen Squared

It's a historic day for another reason: for the first time ever (or maybe just the first time in absolutely yonks), I finished the Saturday Grauniad crossword, after many weeks of incompetence and/or lacking inspiration. I had just one clue remaining last night (seven down) but I knew the answer, just not the logic, and then finally I got it this morning. Also, there were two words that I needed to look up in the dictionary after I'd worked them out to check that they were actually real words that meant approximately what I thought they did. 

And yes, I know that for many people this wouldn't be much of an achievement but you have to remember that for many years, I only ever knew the bunny slopes that are the Torygraph crossword.

It is perhaps obvious that I am ill at the moment, which has forced me to forego most running (other than a gentle, five-miler this morning) and which has therefore meant I have more time to spend solving crosswords and writing blog posts.

NB: This post was written on Sunday, December 6, but lest the Grauniad send their crossword lawyers to tell me off for giving away the answers before the closing date of the competition and lest I give other people the opportunity to enter the prize draw to win a Collins English Dictionary (I'd rather have the OED myself), the post will only be pushed live after the competition closes on Friday.

Turquoise Is COTY 2010

It's that -OTY time of year again: today, it's Pantone's Color of  the Year for 2010, which has been unveiled. They have chosen turquoise, which is my favourite colour and so I am pleased that wearing it next year will mean I am fashionable (not that I ever lose any sleep over this kind of thing). According to the press release:

Whether envisioned as a tranquil ocean surrounding a tropical island or a protective stone warding off evil spirits, Turquoise is a color that most people respond to positively. It is universally flattering, has appeal for men and women, and translates easily to fashion and interiors.

Universally flattering as it may be, as a bright spring with light blue eyes, turquoise is also one of my best colours and although I'm not interested in its anti-evil properties, the thought of warm, crystal clear, turquoise oceans and a land far, far away, as modelled by Monsieur E on our holiday to Cuba, is definitely an appealing one. Of course, even the gorgeous blue waters of Cayo Levisa, in which I swam, scuba dived and drank milk from coconuts, had their flaws but then jamais n'est parfait.

Island Fling — Cracks Review

I've been wanting to see the film Cracks ever since it was shown at the London Film Festival at the same time as the disappointment that was the Secret Film. Afterwards, I wished I'd gone to see Cracks instead but I hadn't heard anything about it, and obviously hadn't read its entry in the LoFiFest programme because a film set in a girls' boarding school in the 1930s with Eva Green as the unconventional teacher sounds right up my street.

The film went on general release this weekend and although I was somewhat discouraged by the one-star rating from Time Out (I try not to read any reviews before I see a film in case it puts me off or biases me; if Mark Kermode reviewed it this week, I'm sure he hated it), I convinced my South-of-the-River friend to join me in Haymarket, lest my cold be worsened by the Balham air.

The girls' boarding school in question is set on a remote island which is, by turns, splendid and sinister. Eva Green plays Miss G, a glamorous teacher and a former pupil of the school, who has a special group of favourite pupils who form the diving team (a team that has never competed in any competitions), all of whom display their special status by wearing red sashes. Di Radfield is team captain, Miss G's favourite and all-around queen bee. Her dives are the best and the other girls in the team suck up to her and give in to her bitchy demands. She also has a crush on Miss G and will do anything to please her teacher — woe betide anyone who tries to steal Miss G's attention from her.

Enter Fiamma, a Spanish princess, who has been exiled by her father because she fell in love with a commoner. Error. Fiamma doesn't care that she doesn't fit in and that the girls bully her mercilessly because knows she will only be at the school for a term — but then, most of the other girls thought that too and they are still there, years later. She is also beautiful and generous and does the most stunning dives the team or Miss G have ever seen. Miss G is entranced and Di furious with jealousy. Fiamma has destroyed the balance and hierarchy that existed among the girls and shifted the tentative balance of power.

As the film develops, girls will, it seems, be girls, which on this occasion means that they will be bitchy and selfish and cruel, but as they get to know Fiamma, Miss G herself begins to unravel and Di slowly begins to realise that her beloved teacher may not be the perfect, worldly woman she once thought.

By highlighting the island setting, director Jordan Scott (Ridley Scott Jr.) adds a slightly unsettling sense of isolation as well as an almost fairy-tale-like, other-worldly mood and much is made of the contrasts between the the dark, dramatic woods in winter and the glorious summer mornings when the diving team leap from the diving board into the shimmering lake (sea?), their twisting, somersaulting bodies captured in slow-motion. 

The relationships between the girls and between the girls and their teacher are intriguing and Green does do a good job of playing the beautiful, glamorous teacher with hints of a troubled past and a troubled mind. Juno Temple (Di Radfield) plays an older version of her character in Atonement and a younger version of her character from Glorious 39 so it's no surprise that she has got the attention-seeking bossy-boots character down to a T. Yet, this little island fling didn't quite come together enough for me; it wasn't Kingdom of Heaven, but it certainly wasn't Blade Runner either.

Listless in London

I'm in a list-making frame of mind but although it's too early to start compiling my favourite books, movies and songs of the year, it isn't too early to round-up my top 100 films of the decade (at least, Time Out have already done it). I worked this out by taking all of the films I've given 8/10 or higher on IMDb and removing any made before the Noughties. Of these, four were awarded 10/10, 16 got 9/10 and the rest 8/10. This gave me a list of about 120 films so I removed my 20 least favourites.

Some caveats:

1. Most films get 7 or 8/10 when I first see them. The reasons for this are explained here. I do update ratings over time and if I end up buying the DVD or downloading an 8/10 film and watching it often enough, it might get promoted to 9/10. Similarly, once my post-cinematic euphoria has worn off, I may decide that the film wasn't worthy of a 7/10 rating and demote it accordingly. However, I don't scour my IMDb ratings page very often and so most films have inaccurate ratings, especially the newest ones (2008 and 2009).
2. I haven't seen enough films this decade to really have a worthwhile Top 100. I only had to take 20 films off my original list, which didn't require much deliberation or any agonising decisions — a sign of good list-making.
3. I only got the cinema bug in 2008. Although I went to the cinema quite often as a student (2002-2006),  I didn't see very many films in 2000-2002 and 2006-2008; the former cinematic drought is compensated for to some extent because these films are now quite often on TV or quite cheap to buy on DVD. 
4. Yes, I am a geek.

10/10  

• Closer (2004/I)  
• Mulholland Dr. (2001)  
• The Dreamers (2003)  
• The History Boys (2006)

9/10  

• 21 Grams (2003)  
• An Education (2009)  
• Atonement (2007)  
• Before Sunset (2004)  
• Gran Torino (2008)  
• Juno (2007)  
• L'ennemi public n°1 (2008)  
• Le scaphandre et le papillon (2007)  
• Mean Creek (2004)  
• Ocean's Eleven (2001)  
• Sin City (2005)  
• Slumdog Millionaire (2008)  
• The Dark Knight (2008)  
• The Departed (2006)  
• The Pianist (2002)  
• The Prestige (2006) 

 8/10  

• 2 Days in Paris (2007)  
• A Cock and Bull Story (2005)  
• A Scanner Darkly (2006)  
• Almost Famous (2000)  
• American Psycho (2000)  
• Away We Go (2009)  
• Babel (2006)  
• Bandits (2001)  
• Bright Star (2009) 
• Brokeback Mountain (2005)  
• Burn After Reading (2008)  
• Catch Me If You Can (2002)  
• Changeling (2008)  
• Children of Men (2006)  
• Cidade de Deus (2002)  
• Crash (2004/I)  
• Easy Virtue (2008)  
• El maquinista (2004)  
• Entre les murs (2008)        
• Far from Heaven (2002)
• Final Destination (2000)  
• Frost/Nixon (2008)  
• Gangs of New York (2002)  
• Genova (2008)  
• Ghost World (2001)  
• Gladiator (2000)  
• Glorious 39 (2009)  
• Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)  
• Gosford Park (2001)  
• Hotel Rwanda (2004)  
• Igby Goes Down (2002)  
• In Search of a Midnight Kiss (2007)  
• Jeux d'enfants (2003)  
• Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)  
• L'instinct de mort (2008)  
• L'ultimo bacio (2001)  
• Les chansons d'amour (2007)  
• Little Miss Sunshine (2006)  
• Lost in Translation (2003) 
• Mean Girls (2004)  
• Memento (2000)  
• Milk (2008/I)  
• Million Dollar Baby (2004)  
• Moon (2009)  
• Mystic River (2003)  
• Ne le dis à personne (2006)  
• Paris, je t'aime (2006)  
• Pour elle (2008)  
• Public Enemies (2009)  
• Revolutionary Road (2008)  
• Saved! (2004)  
• Scary Movie (2000)  
• Se, jie (2007)  
• Shrek (2001)  
• Sideways (2004)  
• Sounds Like Teen Spirit (2008)  
• Spellbound (2002/I)  
• Star Trek (2009)  
• State and Main (2000)  
• State of Play (2009)  
• Sunshine Cleaning (2008)  
• Super Size Me (2004)  
• Swimming Pool (2003)  
• Team America: World Police (2004)  
• Thank You for Smoking (2005)  
• The Beach (2000/I)  
• The Boys Are Back (2009)  
• The Hole (2001)  
• The Hurt Locker (2008)  
• The Informant! (2009)  
• The Notebook (2004)  
• The Reader (2008)  
• The Rules of Attraction (2002)  
• The Ten (2007)  
• The Visitor (2007/I)  
• There Will Be Blood (2007)  
• Un secret (2007)  
• V for Vendetta (2005)  
• Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)  
• Watchmen (2009)

As this Top 100 wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped, I decided to make a Top 10 as well. This wasn't too difficult either because the films had to consist of all of those I rated 10/10 and six of the 9/10 films — otherwise, it would make a mockery of my whole rating system. To avoid such a shocking inconsistency, I only looked at the 10/10 and 9/10 films and the Top 10 is thus:

1. Mulholland Dr.
2. Closer
3. The Dreamers
4. The History Boys
5. Before Sunset
6. Juno
7. Gran Torino
8. L'ennemi public n°1
9. Le scaphandre et le papillon
10. Ocean's Eleven

With as many as three comedies and two French films (both with Mathieu Amalric; coincidence? Je crois pas) and only one film starring Clive Owen, I don't feel this Top 10 accurately represents my favourite films of the decade. As this still wasn't enough analysis and as I can now include vlookup in my Magicke Excell Skillz, I decided to compare my list with Time Out's Top 101 and:

• 16 of my choices appear on Time Out's list
• In addition to this, I've watch 19 other films from the list (37 in total)
• Of those 37, I hated three (Dancer in the Dark, Amélie, and Punch-Drunk Love),
• Four would have made my Top 150 (Zodiac, In the Loop, Best in Show, and In Bruges) and
• I felt two were too repetitive: when you only have 101 films to play with, why not pick just one Haneke film and one instalment of Lord of the Rings (because they'd already signed up Peter Jackson to comment, perhaps?)

Thankfully, perhaps, this is no easy way for me to compile my Top 100 books of the decade...so I shall refrain.