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23 June 2008

A Champagne Supernova in the Sky

Only last Saturday was the Grauniad singing the praises of nonsense lyrics (slowly walking down the hall / faster than a cannonball? Right, Noel... Even Travis had to ask "what's a wonderwall, anyway?") and the columnist wondered what exactly a champagne supernova is. Well, sadly I think I now know.

A champagne supernova occurs when you are happily punting along on a sunny, summer's evening and you have your sunglasses perched on top of your head, only, you feel them falling towards the river and grab, instinctively, to catch them with your left hand. However, your left hand also holds a plastic goblet of champagne, the contents of which fly in a spectacular champagne supernova through the sky to drench the left breast of the not massively impressed punter, as well as your own hair (hey, I'd rather be champagne-soaked than River Nowhere-soaked). The rest of the punt was certainly wiping that tear away now from their eyes, even if they were tears of laughter. I wasn't even drunk; just dyspraxic.

On the bright side, at least I didn't lose my overpriced sunglasses. Also, it didn't rain.

Still, while Champagne Supernova used to be my favourite Oasis song back in the days of the Sandwich Shop of Dreams, now I prefer Wonderwall, even if I know little of what a wonderwall is, as well as Whatever, purely for its cool strings part.

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